what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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