just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
