I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
