I wanna bring you to show and tell
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
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