i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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