Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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