I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
