In the future we'll all be gay
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
