Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
