My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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