I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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