I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
