Can Purell be used as lube?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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