hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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