he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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