I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize