if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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