I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
