This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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