Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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