I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize