i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Its about making memories worth repressing
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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