dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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