I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Are we still banned from the library?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
