I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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