it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
