we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
