I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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