tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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