the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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