OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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