His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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