Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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