this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
