My brain says no but my pants say off.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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