mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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