Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
