My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We had sex on a dog bed..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
