Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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