And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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