oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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