Its about making memories worth repressing
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dear god my vagina.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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