I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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