Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
