Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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