Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
