end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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