What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
