Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
