I must be too annoying 4 u.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
