Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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