Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
