Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
