So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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