i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
