Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
