I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize